Being lonely is a weird place to be in— especially if it’s a new place you’re in. I mean, it’s not a location or a destination but it’s a sort of lack of fulfillment and contentment. If you’re experiencing this weird place most people have experienced before, you’re not alone. 

Things we can encounter while feeling a sense of loneliness is the urge to entertain company and conversations that we know we don’t have any business entertaining; unless you do have some business in which I’d respond, business is business.

But forreal, without the business we just want to engage in some sort of fulfilling interaction that quenches our thirsty souls!!!

Other encounters of loneliness could look like extreme boredom. This is when you’ll find yourself switching back and forth between Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest for fiftyleven times and counting, knowing full well the feed hasn’t updated, a specific somebody hasn’t watched your story or better yet, you don’t have any new or interesting DM’s. 

So, what else are we supposed to do??

I’d sum it up as sit, reflect and refill. Sometimes when we’re feeling lonely it’s a product of healing from emotional hurt, being separated from our comfortable environment/relationships or being afraid to confront the truth of your presence. This is where sitting comes in.

It’s important to take alone time to just sit with yourself, and sift through your thoughts and ideas. This is the time where you can check in with your emotions and really ask yourself how you’re doing. It’s so easy to find distractions from our reality that sometimes it’s hard to notice how we’ve made a routine of distracting ourselves, to the point where we have gone days, weeks, months without checking in with ourselves and evaluating our present state of being.

A practical tip for sitting would be to place your phone down for 20 minutes and literally sit. You can journal what comes to mind, or simply enjoy rummaging through your thoughts without the burden of doing anything with such thoughts. If you’re working on your discipline, then set a timer for yourself and commit to completing the time you set.

As you sit, then you will be able to reflect. Reflect on your day, your night, your emotions, relationships etc. What was the best part of your day, what lesson did you learn? What do you plan to accomplish short term and long term; this allows for the brain to declutter from all of the information we consume by the minute. 

If you’re looking to enhance your conversation skills, reflecting adds to the topics you can discuss throughout the week. After all, if you’re giving your time to everyone else but yourself, it becomes harder to confront being alone without becoming lonely. 

Lastly, when you’re feeling lonely, that’s the best time to refill. When you refill, you have to feed your soul. My soul can’t be fed without communing with Jesus. This is when I read up on scriptures and just share my heart with God and catch up. Most of the time when I’m lonely, it’s because I’m seeking to fill a present void. Enjoying my time with Jesus refills me in ways even the things I love most couldn’t. This is also my favorite time because I get to do the very things I love most in my alone time. I can catch up on that book I’ve been reading, write blog posts and plan content, and just do what I want to do without being obligated to give my time away to things that don’t feed my soul. Let me not forget enjoying a good meal. Ahh when I get to partake in a delicious satisfying meal of choice, it just excites me, and for a hot second I forget I’m lonely lol. Now the goal is not to avoid your loneliness, but to acknowledge it and find healthy ways to get through it. The more I enjoy my alone time the less lonely I become.

So, when you’re feeling lonely, refill and do the things you love to do most.

I like to plan time for myself on a daily. Time for God first, myself second than everyone else. When I’m able to prioritize my days by what’s most important, they go a lot smoother. So, if you’re reading this, I’m guessing you are or have experienced loneliness; I just want you to know that it is perfectly okay to be lonely. There is nothing wrong with you, you’re amazing and loved by God.

Check in with me and let me know if or how this post has helped you. Also, if you have any tips on dealing with loneliness, tag me on Instagram @simplyshardae.com_ and let’s discuss it. I hope to hear from you and wish you an abundance of love, joy and peace. 

Stay beautiful.