If you have ever wondered how to become more confident, how to work against insecurities or even how to know yourself and appreciate who you are more, welcome to the club. There have been so many instances where I’ve had to check my confidence before speaking, interviewing, taking pictures in public…the list goes on, that I could spend more time preparing my plans instead of acting on my plans.

Procrastination is one of those things that happens when you lack the confidence to start. Whether confidence is having the necessary supplies, understanding what needs to be done or knowing exactly which step to take first. Either way, confidence is needed at anytime, and any place.

Confidence is the ability to recognize the worth of who you are, and maintain security that cannot be diminished by outside factors. That’s not the official definition; but if your’e looking for it, Google’s definition was the best.

Imagine a life removed from fear, being shy, feeling inferior or needing 5 minutes to pep talk yourself. What if we didn’t experience being nervous AT ALL; wouldn’t that be great? For me, it takes a little time to warm up to things; but it’d be the bomb to act in confidence 100% of the time.

So, until we reach the level of confidence that is free from fear 100% of the time, there are things we can work on in the meantime.

This post will share 3 things to consider as well as 3 practical steps on how to be a confident woman.

1. You don’t need me to say this; but just in case you’d like a reminder, it is perfectly okay for your emotions, self esteem and confidence to be effected by other people. That’s what makes us human, the ability to feel and be impacted by our feelings. So, the first thing to consider is that it’s in your human nature to emotionally respond to positive messages and negative messages. Being human is a delicacy; so we have to grace ourselves at all times.

2. Another thing to consider is how people’s actions aren’t a reflection of you, but mostly a reflection of who they are. Now there are disclaimers where we all need to hold ourselves accountable, especially if our actions provoke a negative response in people instead of a response of love. However, how people treat you, respect you, care for you and love you is a direct reflection of who they are as a person; not who you are. So we can release ourself from the burden of being attached to the reason people may harm us. It’s not your fault, and you can free yourself from any guilt and shame.

3. Finally, the third thing to consider is that we are all working on something, whether it’s personal, professional, character development etc. People may project their insecurities and fears onto you, but that doesn’t mean you have to accept it. True confidence acknowledges outside behaviors without giving it access to diminish such confidence.

With the considerations in mind, here are 3 practical steps on how to be a confident woman.

• First, affirm yourself of who you are. 

Confidently cherish, accept and embrace ALL of who your are; things you’re great at as well as things that still need work. Once you can fully accept your weaknesses as something that doesn’t take away from your worth, you will be able to walk in complete confidence. Oftentimes, we can feel that we are the only ones who go through certain things, but remembering that literally every human being has to put in the effort to get or maintain confidence is a sigh of relief. You’re not alone, we all have work to do.

Statements that affirm yourself can include, “I am beautiful.” I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” I am a work of art, a masterpiece.”

• Second, reject negative self talk from yourself and others.

It’s nearly impossible to walk in complete confidence if you are meditating on negative statements that you have believed to be true; whether the negative statement is from yourself or not. Do Not Accept everything that people say about you. Yes, it’s good to humbly hold yourself accountable and to recognize needed areas of growth; however, it’s damaging to be tossed to and fro by the opinions of others. Firmly accept the truth of who you are, and not the lies of who some may say you are.

• Third, practice affirming yourself and rejecting negative self talk daily. 

Everyday, remind yourself that everyone has fears to conquer and that you are not the only one who is working to build confidence, nor are you the only one who gets nervous, even Beyoncé get’s nervous sometimes. From every minute to every day you have to constantly refresh your brain with positive affirmations and self esteem, so you can confidently believe your truth and walk in it. If you don’t believe what you are telling yourself, you won’t be able to walk confidently until you do. Better yet, if you can’t believe what you are telling yourself, believe what God says about you. So practice incorporating these steps daily and watch, you will see your confidence grow.

Life is so much better when you freely live. Live without fear with me, and practice being a confident woman daily. I hope this post helped give you solid things to consider and practical steps to incorporate into your daily routine. Comment with any additional practices that help you build your confidence, and keep me updated on your confidence building journey. Can’t wait to speak with you soon. Keep flourishing.

• Simply Shardae